Tuesday, July 17, 2018

huh?


     A Time for Everything 

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
 
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
 
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
 
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
 
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
 
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
 
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Today I found a notebook. It is a spiral notebook so I figured it must belong to one of my kids. Mostly because I really don't use spiral notebooks, I have several journals that I take notes in. I opened it up to the first page and was surprised to see my handwriting...it was titled, "Move Pt 2" and was dated from 4/25/18. I was intrigued by the next line which simply said, "Ecc = huh?" I started to read on and tried desperately to figure out why I was writing in a spiral notebook and when. As I read I realized this was after my little girl had asked me over and over what was so great about Texas. Every reason I gave her just made her dig deeper. I knew that though it was my little girl asking me the questions, God was digging around in my heart and wanted to show me where it was according to His purpose. He already knew what was so great about Texas, and wanted to show me why Texas, for His plans, not mine.

I read on to realize that this was part of the message He's been downloading into me for the last several months. The answer to His question, "Where are you finding your pleasure and happiness?"

I believe many times as people we search high and low for happiness and pleasure. From the newest gadgets, with new homes, or even people, we strive to get our next fix of happiness and pleasure. The problem isn't with having the things, or people, the problem lies within us. As I have gotten closer to God, I am learning that God is the answer to any question I have. Whether it's why did you take her out of my life, or where my happiness comes from. God has the answers.

I have struggled with addiction to food for a good portion of my life. When God gave me the answer for this struggle a few years ago, I was shocked to see how easy the changes were in my eating habits. Though I didn't know that He was the strength in my ability to stop smoking cigs, and giving up the massive quantity of pills the drs would throw at me to "help" me, I now realize it was ALWAYS Him. When I tried on my own to give up anything that brought me temporary pleasure and happiness, I would fall back into them quickly. But as God walks me out of these struggles I realize that they are just masking what He's asking me to do...surrender ALL of me to Him. 

So as I have walked and continue to walk with Him through surrendering each piece of me that doesn't look like Him, I am learning that though it may hurt for a moment, the wisdom is for a lifetime. If I keep moving in the direction He's leading me. Recently I was surprised to hear about some I dearly care about are walking a path of seeking pleasure and happiness in places, things and people. Instantly I want to "fix" them, but God. He knows that there is a season for everything and He knows that being the flesh we are, we will search high and low to find relief from the pain or heartache in something, someone or even in what drs say will help us find our "happiness" again.

I have much experience in this area, I have walked the "easy" path too many times to count in the past. I have looked for my happiness and pleasure everywhere except where it is, on the other side of the struggle. It's hard to walk through the pain of loss, or hand over the things that we have held onto for our happiness. But the only way to the other side is through the heartache and loss. Not that everyone makes it to the other side in the same manner, or the same timing...only God has perfect timing.  But when we are looking to something, anything out side of God to find that peace...we will only find temporary relief. Because God is the ONLY place to find the indescribable peace that we are each searching for.

Though I want to fix those I love and give them the peace they are looking for in food, sex, or even drugs...I can't only God can. I do however get to help in what this world calls a "not so practical" way...I get to pray for them. For me this is the highest honor. 

So please if you're seeking happiness, a good mood, or energy and pleasure anywhere but from God, know that I am praying for you. Praying that you will find the happiness and pleasure in the perfect peace from God that He will carry you through what ever it is that has you searching in things of this world in. One more thing before I sign off...

When you get to the plateau of whatever you're using to make you feel good, and you get to the place where you think you will find happiness...if it's not of God, or from God...and you hear yourself saying, "huh?" please, please reach out for the ONLY One who will love you and Who knows the depth of the hurt and ask Him to walk you through.