I'm in a pretty deep part of a trial/test....well whatever you want to call it. I'm feeling my toes curling over the edge of the cliff...starting to teeter forward...I know the One holding onto my shirt so I don't fall, off has me. Yet the one beckoning me to join him is tugging more & more firmly.
The pain & suffering is sooooo very difficult to endure continuously for months, years on end. Everytime I see/feel a glimmer of light at the end of this long journey, it's snubbed out by one more addition to my cloud covered sky. I'm usually the one hanging on till the end, hopeful would be a great word to describe it. But this time, I'm STRUGGLING, yes ALL caps!!!
I feel like not only is our life turned upside down, but me, the princess, as a whole is being SPUN around. I am honestly struggling with so much MORE than my physical health, but my spiritual health is in a rapidly, spiraling nose dive. It's been awhile since I've had this struggle. As with other times, I'm feeling out of control, invisible, angry & alone!?!?!
I'm still talking with God, a WHOLE lot. Well some talking & some threats, some insults, some cursing even. At this point, I'm still hearing Him answer...in many different ways. But I worry that I can actually withstand this test!?!?! He says He's always with us, never forsakes us, will never take US through something we can't handle.....but this time I wonder???
I'm gonna end this quickly, can I ask you, if you're reading this, would you PLEASE take a moment to lift me in a prayer for healing & grace?? I'm in need of a healthy dose of love coming down to lift me up!!! I truly appreciate each of you taking that time!!!
I'll be back later....not sure when, but later!!!