Friday, August 23, 2013

A long way from home........Part 5.......move over girl.

I picked up my purple spiral notebook & pretty floral pen & turned towards the side door....headed out & started to chat with God about where He was taking me.....first thing I saw was the wooden porch swing I thought was soooo cute when we arrived. I was going to sit down & immediately I realized I wasn't coordinated enough to sit down in this swing while holding onto my water, a notebook, pen & then poof I was sitting. I put my head back & realized that bugs in the woods are like fish in the water.....they go together. So I clumsily got up & headed towards my room. I walked in & saw one of my sweet roommates getting her stuff together, it took every bit of my strength not to speak.....praise God He was my strength. I headed to the restroom & she must've gotten her stuff together & went to find her  space. I decided this is where I'm comfy....so my bed in my room was where I planted & then started to pray...."Lord I'm here, I'm ready & please meet me right where I am & share Your Truth with me. I'm broken, I've fallen & I need You to pick me up & put me back on Your path for me....

You can't protect yourself....ONLY I can cover & protect you............stop rushing My time, not yours.......you cant let My light shine through you, if you're standing in front of Me trying to do it yourself, MOVE OVER!!!!..............Stop walking away from Me, I've got you, ALL of you........NO REGRETS & NO PRIDE....in your own strength you'll get dropped to your knees, lean into Me.......the lessons you've learned, are NOT your identity in Me.....DON'T let go of Me..AM I WORTH EVERYTHING TO YOU??.....COME TO ME, ABIDE IN ME CONTINUALLY.....IT'S YOUR CHOICE........

& on & on He went for another few pages of really to anyone else, jibberish, but He ended with.......I AM ENOUGH & Do you believe I can???? By the end of the hour, He had spoken to every part of my being....every hurt, every joy, every distrust, every choice, just every single part of who I've been. I've shared some here, the others would take up too much room & time. Honestly, you'd probably get bored reading my list.....ask Him He probably has one for you as well....just be willing to hear it.....it can be hard to be held accountable by Our Lord & Savior.

I got my stuff together & headed back to the meeting room....I felt inspired & lighter.....I can't deny I was still trying to argue some of the things He shared with me...aaahhhh the flesh is soooo very distracting...intentionally. I know that He gave us free will, so we could choose to know Him, or not. I just think sometimes that the enemy seems to know too much.....but I am the one who has shared with him, unknowingly until I found Christ....now it's my choice how many areas I let him in on. I got in the door & heard worship music playing softly, I went to where I've been sitting & sat down. I looked around at the few other women had come back & then melted into the music......

The core team leader, began to ask how many of us heard what God shared with us....I know I raised my hand, I don't know how many did....I hope all of these beautiful women heard the gentle voice of Our LORD. She shared what He had shared with her. I believe it was a tiny bit for her.....about idols.....she was collecting friends & then putting them before most everything in her life....even Him. I don't know that verbatim, but I think I'm close. She will let me know if I'm wrong I hope. But mostly what He shared with her, was for some of the other women......she asked if she could come & share with them what He placed on her heart during her time with Him. Of course she also asked each individual woman as she stepped before them, her heart open & full with words He had placed so very purposefully with her to share with them.....this was a beautiful sight to me. A sister in Christ, who opened her heart so wide, He could share His love with her fellow sisters most often, a confirmation of what they had heard Him say during their own special hour with Him......

Another thought came to mind as she walked up to her first sister, asked if she could share & of course she replied "yes." As she began to share what He had asked her to tell her, tears began to stream down her face......at this point I recognized & had my mind stopped on something that she had shared & started to search through my notebook full of His words to me.....there it was, the same message......as she finished sharing, the sister bent down & picked up her notebook & handed it to the core leader, M. She quickly read it & tears streamed down her face, she asked if she could share some of what she had heard & jotted down & she shook her head yes. So as M began to read, tears started to stream down my face.......He had confirmed what He had shared with her in private, with M......

Around M went, sharing with each woman she had heard Him speak to her about.....with soooo many times the woman handing over her notebook.....& more times than not, I was brought to tears......& I searched through during almost all the confirmations, in my purple spiral notebook & found His message to me, included those same words......