Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Is my true desire to be like Christ...or like so & so???

For the last several years, well since I was about 40-ish, I've believed that the wisdom I'm gaining is due to getting older...doesn't everyone say "the older you get, the wiser you get"?? Truth is I am getting wiser because I'm getting older, in some areas. In my flesh I'd love to take the credit for learning as I live. In reality I'm being shaped, molded, re-created by a Father that loves me...loves me so deeply He came to earth to bear my sins, ALL my sins, even the ones I refuse to share with ANYONE but Him. He knows ALL my deep dark secrets, the ones that can sometimes still bring a heavy shame if I forget Who's I am. The enemy hopes bringing all the sins to the light, or reminding me of those dark ones, he can trip me up & turn me away from my Daddy.....

At times I've struggled, even recently with the shame. I have beat myself up sooo many times over these sins...in weak moments I've let the enemy distort my relationship with my Father. Those days, they are a struggle to begin with, but then add the reminders of my bad choices & it's a perfect recipe to reject the TRUTH...the reality that I'm a child of the most high KING. That I'm not the same person I was when I made those choices & chose to sin. I know I'm not the only one who has done this. The fact that others stumble this way doesn't make me feel better, it makes me sad.

My desire is to always focus on Jesus, not let the enemy distract me. I am made of flesh & bone, but I truly want to not let that be an excuse. I want it to be the reason I keep my focus on my Father. I want to let Him shine His love & light so bright & full through me that others have no doubt Who's I am. I pray a lot that others will see Him in me & my life & want to know what I have that they can have too!!! I know all I have to do is step back & give Him center stage...sometimes that's easier said than done for me. He is making it more & more possible, after all He is my Creator. He knows ALL about me, He knows what I'll choose before I ever consider it. So it's not a surprise when I fail, not to Him. He lovingly shows me the why's & how's, it's during those times when the enemy does his best evil scheming to make me stumble & fall...

Lately the stumbling block the enemy keeps using over & over is comparison in my faith. Am I as good a Christian as this one is, or that one is??? Do I do enough?? etc...Maybe you've never struggled with this issue. If not, that's great!!! But if you are like me & have fought this issue, there's a solution. God recently repeated to me in several situations "comparison is the stealer of joy....why wouldn't you appreciate what I'm doing with you?? You can be inspired by the work I'm doing in/with them, but to wish it was you....that's like a slap in my face!!"  I've been reminded that He's moving mountains with my faith...why should I allow the green eyed monster that does the enemy's evil work to trip me up?? It is kind of like that song, "2 steps forward & 3 steps back." 

God's molding me in His time, according to His plan. We are all created in His image, with different gifts & personalities. He didn't want to create a world of people who are the same. What good would that do?? He purposely created each of us. Not for the same purpose, but for a good purpose. His purpose.

So, His question is this...."Do you want to be like Me, or like so & so???" With each piece of flesh He trims away, I realize more & more that the answer to that question is a resounding "You Daddy, I want to be like You!!!" The next time you feel a flutter of jealousy over a blessing, gift, or option someone else is given, remember this....you have no idea what their deep dark secrets are. You have no idea who or what they may be wishing they were like. We are all unique for a reason, God made us this way. So instead of wishing you could have, be, or do what so & so is, be happy for them. Find joy in these things you find yourself wanting, in them & appreciate the walk God is taking with you. Don't compare, hold onto the joy God gives you, in your life. Live in who God is creating you to be....the one & only you.