Saturday, December 27, 2014

How long will it take for this to become a habit???

While I was washing the dishes, the ones from Christmas dinner, I was upset & telling myself how I was gonna let my Sweet Hubby have it. After all he was the one who said "don't worry about the dishes, I'll do them...thanks for dinner it was really good." But here it is...not the day after Christmas, but the second day after Christmas & the dishes from all 3 days are here. There are definitely not a bunch of dishes, mostly pans that were rinsed...but it's the fact that he didn't do what he said he was going to...even after a hint last night from me, a hint he took & told Jr "we are gonna clean up around here tomorrow..." He started to pick up & then just stopped after stacking my sales ads on the couch next to where I sit??? Then he sat down & 10 mins later got up told me "I'm gonna go lay down, I'm so tired." & walked into our room laid down & went to sleep. I was getting worship music on a Bluetooth speaker Sr let us use on Christmas, so we could enjoy our cleaning with some amazing music...but before I could figure it out, he went to bed. So, I decide to just get it done while he was sleeping. I cranked up the tunes & started cleaning. I clean with no plan, if I pick something up & have to take it somewhere else, I will try to pick something up to bring back where it goes...why waste a trip when I'm doing something that I hate doing right?? The music is what makes this bearable for me. As I was switching between singing & complaining, I was telling myself what I was gonna say to the one God created for me. I was seething & it was building...then I heard the interruption I recognize is my Daddy..."Is that gonna show him the love I show you? Will this make him want to be around you?? You keep asking Me to make you more like me...then complaining when I do it." Which I start to instantly defend, but in His gentle whisper He reminds me,

For even the Son of God didn't come to be served, but to serve, & to give His life as a ransom for many.                          
                                                                                   Mark 10:45 NIV

Man, that got right to me, right to the spot He's working on still in this woman. Yes, I can not say anything, I can just leave it alone. I can just let the guilt trips I learned from birth to take others on, go. Just love. Just be glad & thankful that the one God created just for me, is here with me...that I can hug him, laugh with him, cry in his arms & sleep next to him at night...I can appreciate that he is God's & love him like Christ...unconditionally.

Then I hear my Daddy say, "all I ask is that if you're going to serve me, do it joyfully not with a heart of frustration, but because you want to serve where I ask you to."..."but dishes & cleaning are the worst" I complain again." I don't want to do it, I'm not like other women, I don't want to clean, or like to clean" Then I'm reminded of these...

Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing!
                                                                                                Psalm 100:2 ESV

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
                                                                       Colossians 3:23 NIV

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, "children of God..."
                                                                                                  Philippians 2:14-15a NIV

I now realize that I'm not just serving my Sweet Hubby & sons, I'm serving my Lord, the One Who came into the world, not in the manner He could have come, as the LORD of LORDS & KING OF as a human baby. The most humbling form. He came to die, He came only to live blameless so He could take my sins, my brokenness & my selfishness...and climb on the cross & give His life, so I could have the choice to accept His gift. A FREE gift for me...all I have to do is say yes.

In saying yes, I don't have to do anything more...I'm redeemed simply for the asking. I'm grateful that He doesn't leave me there, if I say yes...He will keep asking me for more, to give me more. He loves me & as I learn just how much He really loves me, already, without doing anything...I start to want to be more like Him. I want to love unconditionally...I want to give & help the broken, I want to let His light shine in & through me...this is just one more way to let go of the worldly, fleshy, broken part of me & allow Him to mold it into His image...LOVE.

So here I sit, laptop in hand, a little more like my Savior, only by His grace & mercy...telling you one more of my flaws...sharing one more way He is making my reflection match His.

In doing this blog, I checked out how long it takes an action, or behavior to become a habit...the first several said, "21 days" but when I looked a little deeper, I found a study that said "after they did a study for 84 days, the average person developed a habit in approximately 66 days..." I'm praying a new prayer now...that Daddy God will help me make cleaning, dishes & serving others a supernatural habit!!!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from Nona's house to yours......