Friday, January 9, 2015

Blessings in disguise...are you missing yours?

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
                                                                Hebrews 4:16 NLT
This morning I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm...if you know me, you know this is a HUGE change. When I started the "Biggest Loser Challenge" on Jan. 3, 2015, I started getting up early to take a bike ride. The first day I hopped out of bed excited for this new journey Jesus has placed me on. Happy to be able to get up & determined to get on my bike & ride away this fat barrier I have built over the last 7 years! I leaned into God & gave my complete self over to Him...then I faced the ones that had agreed to go with me. I walked out of my room with a huge smile on my face & said, "Good morning!! Are y'all ready for the ride??" 2 of them were up, the youngest one was sleeping on the couch...this was not what I expected. They were not excited at all, the 2 that were awake just stared at me with a look I cant share the meaning of on a family blog. My heart started to sink..then I heard the familiar whisper of my sweet Daddy God's voice, "keep smiling, this is a good change it will feel good & you need to worry about you, not make them be as happy as you are for this  don't need them to do this, you have ME...I AM enough for you. In your weakness you have my strength."  So, I got myself ready, they did too & off the 3 of us went. I felt alive again...
When I decided to join this challenge I prayed about it. I had accepted the challenge no questions asked. when my sweet sister in Christ asked me to. Then I read the terms & found out there was an entry fee...this was a huge road block for me instantly...I was wondering how I was gonna buy groceries to feed us, there's no way I can do this. But I heard Him immediately, "I will provide." I said ok, with a little doubt hidden behind my answer. But just incase I decided to message my sweet sister & ask her if it was ok if I couldn't come up with the meager entry fee, this isn't national, it's a small group of us women ready for God to show us how to knock these walls down & shine Him bright, so it's very little to most, but I asked her if I could just have the encouragement, fellowship & accountability. She replied like my sweet Jesus was saying it to me...yes. but ask God for it, it will make you more accountable if you invest so much for you. What ask God for this?? I hadn't even went to Him about this challenge...I never thought to ask Him, I just accepted. Of course the first thing I did was tell my Daddy "I'm sorry I didn't think about asking You." I asked Him for the entry fee, I asked Him to show me how to start. I asked Him to be my 5 hour power. Within a couple of days, He provided from the most unexpected source.
Over the last week I've ridden 5 days. 4 of those days I had the company of my guys, at least 1 of them each of those days, except 1 of them. That was today. I woke up before my alarm & Sweet Hubby was in the kitchen leaning on the counter, on the phone. Sr was still in bed & Jr was awake upstairs. Sweet Hubby tells me he bent wrong & his back was pinching & I told him, "it's ok you don't have to ride with me today, I'll be ok." Just then Jr comes down & asks are you going on a bike ride today mom, I told him yes & asked if he wanted to go. He looked at me & said "not really, I'm sorry mom." I said "no son it's ok." Then I felt this joy I cant even, excitement & peace at the same time at the thought of being able to take a bike ride by myself...just me, none of my guys with me. The worship music in the headphones in my ears...the time alone with my Daddy God...just me & distractions, interruptions, no worries...Oh my goodness, YES this is an awesome plan!!! THIS is the plan for my ride today!!!
Then both of them decide that one has to go...WHAT??? NO!!! I screamed in my head...but then the peace & joy of being able to have time with headphones in, still with my sweet Daddy came rushing back over me. I smiled & said to them both, "I will be fine, I promise. You guys don't have to worry, just stay here I'll be great, really!!" They both looked at me, neither of them convinced. So I went on & said, "Really this way I can listen to my music & not worry about having to listen for someone. I really want to go by myself today." They were content with this answer & agreed. My Sweet Hubby went to the garage & got my bike out & ready for me, a great surprise. Jr walked me out through the garage & said, "ok have fun mom." Off I went, music in my ears, a woman filled with excitement & joy...a tiny bit of fear crept in....but as I rode up the street, no plan, just riding wherever I rode. Talking to Jesus, singing to Jesus & sharing my joy & a smile with those I encountered along the path. What a ride it was...I loved all the rides this week, with each of my guys too, but God is my favorite riding partner. As I came riding around the neighborhood streets He whispers "sometimes it's good to have some quiet time for ourselves. You asked & I am giving you what you asked for, it may not always seem to be what you expected...but it will always be better my beautiful girl." Just then I looked up into the beautiful blue sky & felt the breeze blow through my hair & in my face...I couldn't help but laugh & answer out loud...."Yes Jesus, this is just what I needed!!! Thank You!!" I kept on riding just singing & smiling, letting Him pour His perfect mercy & grace into me & fill me with JOY, real JOY not the other kind....I made it home...