Saturday, January 3, 2015

For I know the plans I have for your 2015...

I've noticed several people on my Facebook news feed are sharing their words for this year. I love reading them & why they chose them...most have a Scripture to help them keep them in their focus. This year I believe that my Daddy wants me to learn to dive deeper with Him. To trust His heart when I'm blind to His hands working in my life. To remember what His plans are for me, all I have to do is listen with every part of me.  I have a dear friend who has a beautiful sign in her home, it has Jeremiah 29:11 written on it. The first time I saw it, I knew these beautiful Words made me feel an instant flash of understanding, REAL understanding. I told her "I love this!!!" She said "me too, this is one of my favorite Verses." So this was when my Daddy God began to really show me He was in EVERY detail of my life. I decided that I needed to check into these amazing Words a little closer...after all this verse brought more understanding.

So, I decided to check into the rest of the Chapter in context...that's when He showed me that yes, this was His plan. He had more for me to bury deep in my heart. So they became my "life Verses", they are...

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
                                                         Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV

For a while I prayed these, I kept them close to my heart & mind during every thing. If I was struggling with anything, all I had to do was pull this promise up & I felt better. In many of my darkest moments this WAS the light I clung to...His promise. It was what would open my clenched fists when I was trying to hold onto a hurt, or a reason for my anger. They helped me clean out a lot of pain that had built a wall NO ONE could penetrate...NO ONE except my Daddy.

This year I believe "HOPE" is the word He is asking me to walk in. I know His ways are higher than mine, so I don't understand EVERY reason He's giving me this word. But I trust His heart whether I see His hands every moment, or I simply hear this promise. I believe He has amazing plans for me in 2015! I know that He's going to restore some of my brokenness, pain that has built for years. He's gonna take this princess deeper than I've ever gone. He's gonna wait for me to come to Him, He's gonna make me choose Him & His perfect plan over my own...I'm excited!!

He's already started, before 2015 came. He sent a challenge my way, it was my choice. All I had to do was say "yes" & ask for what I needed. As soon as I said "yes" & asked for the provision, He provided it the next day...out of no where!!

I joined a "Biggest Loser" challenge. It is my first time. For years I've wanted to be on the show. I actually went a few times to be interviewed...but wasn't chosen. Then He brought me what I asked for...a challenge to get healthier. To get fit so I can enjoy this life He has for me & the family He blessed me with. For years I've put on more & more weight. I have gotten to my heaviest point...I've eaten my feelings, I've eaten away those feelings with more & more. Now it's time to face those feelings & give them to Him. It's time for me to really live in His strength. To remember that in my weakness He is my strength...that I can not rely on my own strength.

Part of this challenge required me to take pictures of myself from several views, along with a live video being weighed. I'm the queen of selfies from above, I learned this had a couple of advantages for an obese, older woman. It thins the face while smoothing wrinkles & it hides the size of the body because of the angle. I taught many other women who felt like I did. Obviously I wasn't able to use this trick for these photos. I prayed hard, I asked Him to stand with me, to help me see myself through His eyes instead of mine. I also asked Him for the courage to share these pictures with my fellow challenge members. He gladly gave abundantly to me...when I looked at the pictures my son took, I didn't look as bad as I told myself...He was showing me that the "mix tape of self hate" that I had been allowing satan to play over & over, was a LIE.

Then He showed me what He sees when He looks at me. I can't even explain the beauty I saw...I know it is Him in me. I actually eagerly posted them to the secret challenge page. Then He challenged me post them to my Instagram. "But they will see..." in a heartbeat I remembered, He is doing a new thing in me. I can be a beacon to those who are in the same fight...a beacon to Him & what He is doing in me. What I can do because of Him. I looked up & said "ok" & shared the pictures as He asked me to.

So, He's challenging me again. This time I haven't got the tiniest bit of doubt, nor will I question His challenge. I am saying yes. In 2015 I will be still & wait upon His whisper. I will answer His challenges with a YES. I will search for Him in everything. I will ask Him for help & accept it when He offers it without question. I will trust Him, He is my Daddy. These are the pictures that begin a new work in me...a work that will challenge me & change me from the inside out.

"In Your hands I will find my strength, peace & hope. All I have to do is say yes & You can show me the way...Your way."                                                 @LifewithNona