Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I see the mirror's reflection now....

I can't even imagine how God can continually look through His "Daddy eyes" at each of us. I have 4 children & 5 grandchildren & I can honestly say most of the time....I'm squinting through my "mama eyes" at them & their choices. I'm learning, very slowly since I can tend to be stubborn & a know it all, that children grow up...they mirror what they see...from a very early age. Now I know this isn't news to most of us...but I am amazed daily by choices made???

Lately God is doing exactly as I keep begging Him to do. My prayers & conversations with my Daddy lately have included a whole lot of me asking Him to cleanse my heart, send me & break my heart for what breaks His. This last one, I'm learning, is the subject of this post...I love it when He gives me the "ahhhaaa" moment during the writing of the actual post, He has perfect timing. Back to the requests I have been making on a daily basis, most of the time many times a day!! Asking...NO begging my Daddy to make me more like Him...my only desire is to be completely & openly obedient to my Creator, so others will see His heart for them through me & my life....WHO I am, ALWAYS bringing Him glory. Whether it is through accepting accountability when I am, or the tiniest detail in the biggest choices of my life. I want EVERY part of who I am & how I live to point to my Daddy God.

Through living my life I learned so many things. Some good, others not so much, but ALL were necessary to make me who I am today. To bring me to this point in my walk with my Daddy. A point that has taken many steps along a broken path. Broken by my choices, my plans, my emotional responses....me making & trying to live out my plans with a deceitful human heart. Wow talk about losing because of my choices. My children have been with me for 29+ years of my path. They've had to suffer the consequences of too many of my plans & choices, through no fault of their own. They enjoyed the blessings of when I've chosen to listen to my Daddy's plans & obey them.

So, when they start making choices of their own imagine my surprise when they made the same choices I did??? They lived through the pain, struggle, loss & brokenness that came with my choices because they were children & had to...but when given the chance to make their own choices they mirror mine??? Mine, the choices & plans that caused not only me pain & suffering, but them as well....huh??? Don't they remember?? I do, I remember!!!

The mama in me wants to save them from the same pain & struggle, so I try to tell them what to do, or not do. But, they are strong minded, a mirror of me. So I will try to remind them of my struggle & pain in a similar choice....of course the mama in me wants them to not remember it was my choice I'm speaking of so I leave out some parts of the struggles & pain. Eventually I will expose the whole truth & then give them the apology I owe them. They are ALL always so good to me about it & I know this is God in them, a mirror of me...sorry this truth has brought tears to these old "mama eyes" at the moment I'm trying to type through water goggles...

Thank You Daddy for Your Amazing Grace for this daughter!!!

Once again His timing is perfect. Just as I was gonna lose focus & allow lies from the enemy to cloud His message, He shows me Whose message this is....HIS & shocks me back to the truth that I will always be a mirror to my children & grandchildren. Whether I'm making choices that shine His glory now or choices that will eventually shine His glory, I'm a mirror.  I can choose to mirror the world's choices, or I can choose to mirror His choices. But whatever I choose will be mirrored to those around me.

So with my "mama eye's" I can see where some of their choices will take them before they make them. Most of the time it's because I've already made the same choice & seen what that path looked like for me. I can look back & see where my Daddy was trying to guide me & lead me away from the wrong choices. I can now relate to how He felt each time I made a choice with my naïve human heart & chose to ignore His guidance. How I will finally just listen to His whispers to step back & let Him have them. BOOM there it is!!!

He shared it with me at that moment...I cant expect my children to learn to listen to Him & trust it's Him, if I'm not. Because they are still mirroring me. I'm still trying to have control...I should be pointing them to God continually. They should be directed to Him by my choices, my actions, who I am....my mirror. They should be mirroring Him, listening to Him, following His guidance....be His mirror to their children.

My prayer for my children is that they will see God in me, all around me & my life. I pray I am a faithful mirror of obedience to my Daddy, for every one I ever see....especially my children & grandchildren. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Please feel free to read through my past posts & share anything that God puts on your heart!!!